Extraterrestrial life-forms bailed out in your
back yard? Fancy turning your home into 'Area 52'? Performing an alien
autopsy is not just a fun way to pass a few hours but can also reveal
an immense amount of biological data regarding the alien anatomy.
So lay down your Mum's best sheets, don a
white coat and glasses, grab a hack saw and prepare to unleash the
secrets of extraterrestrial life.
First things first, it's important to conduct
your alien autopsy with both seriousness and respect for the alien
cadaver, it's not wrong that you're enjoying yourself, but it is
important to remember that the alien autopsy's primary purpose is one
of curiosity and scientific interest.
Ok, so you've composed yourself and accepted
the enormity of the task at hand and you're ready to begin. Examine
the outside of the alien's body first; this is important because much
is learnt from this part of the examination. Measurements are taken
and recorded of the external anatomy, the body will need to be weighed
and pictures taken of any wounds or marks.
Next create a Y-shaped incision from the
shoulders to the mid-chest and down to the pubic bone. Then a second
incision needs to be made behind the head just below and behind the
ears. Make additional incisions into the skull, rib cage, breastbone,
and the abdominal cavity that contains the organs. The scalp and the
front chest is stretched open and held with instruments for internal
Open the skull and the other body cavities.
Thoroughly inspect all internal organs making notes of any significant
observations, next remove the internal organs and weigh them,
including the brain. Microscopic examination of tissues is then done
and all results are recorded on a voice recorder for later
transcription. Place sections of each organ in preservation fluid and
save for later microscopic laboratory examination.
And there you have it, you've just completed
your very own alien autopsy, go and make yourself something nice to
eat in way of celebration, but be sure to wash your hands first.