How To Conduct Your Own Alien Autopsy


How To Conduct Your Own Alien Autopsy


Extraterrestrial life-forms bailed out in your back yard? Fancy turning your home into 'Area 52'? Performing an alien autopsy is not just a fun way to pass a few hours but can also reveal an immense amount of biological data regarding the alien anatomy.

So lay down your Mum's best sheets, don a white coat and glasses, grab a hack saw and prepare to unleash the secrets of extraterrestrial life.

First things first, it's important to conduct your alien autopsy with both seriousness and respect for the alien cadaver, it's not wrong that you're enjoying yourself, but it is important to remember that the alien autopsy's primary purpose is one of curiosity and scientific interest.

Ok, so you've composed yourself and accepted the enormity of the task at hand and you're ready to begin. Examine the outside of the alien's body first; this is important because much is learnt from this part of the examination. Measurements are taken and recorded of the external anatomy, the body will need to be weighed and pictures taken of any wounds or marks.

Next create a Y-shaped incision from the shoulders to the mid-chest and down to the pubic bone. Then a second incision needs to be made behind the head just below and behind the ears. Make additional incisions into the skull, rib cage, breastbone, and the abdominal cavity that contains the organs. The scalp and the front chest is stretched open and held with instruments for internal inspection.

Open the skull and the other body cavities. Thoroughly inspect all internal organs making notes of any significant observations, next remove the internal organs and weigh them, including the brain. Microscopic examination of tissues is then done and all results are recorded on a voice recorder for later transcription. Place sections of each organ in preservation fluid and save for later microscopic laboratory examination.

And there you have it, you've just completed your very own alien autopsy, go and make yourself something nice to eat in way of celebration, but be sure to wash your hands first.




  - How To Conduct Your Own Alien Autopsy